Usually a great literary work ends with a main character dying. Sometimes it's the bad guy who gets it in the end. Other novels have the heroine dying for a great cause. This story starts with death, or just after it. My first remembrance was vague. I knew I was dead, yet I was regaining a foggy sort of consciousness. My whole body felt jumbled--like a cross between the worst case ever of the flu, and complete numbness.
I seem to remember hearing voices, and smelling something. I was sooo hungry. Ever have a strange craving for something you would never dream you'd like?? Well, I just had to have BRAINS!!!!!!
Like a fallen toddler getting back to their feet to continue walking, I managed to get upright and walk--well, more of a shuffle. My left leg had no movement, but I could drag it and edge toward food. People were everywhere, and even a long bite of flesh sounded good. I was not quite sure how to crack a skull open to get to BRAINS, but maybe a large rock would break a head open.
I was at Turkey Mountain--a strange place to wake up dead, and there were hundreds of people ambling around, and despite my hunger pains, I figures I would be restrained and not get to enjoy a meal--even a fast bite. So I discreetly snuck over into the woods to hopefully ambush some wandering trail runner. Where is a good flesh eating contest when you need one? I was puzzled at the sight of skulls along the trail. Seems someone had beaten me to the punch as there were several small skulls along the way--children's skulls no less. I picked one up, and whoever ate here left not a morsel of flesh. Curses!!
Another adult skull--and no BRAINS!! Whoever placed it here had the sickest sense of humor, leaving their dinner napkin draped around it. I was hoping they would get full soon, and maybe leave me a bone or something.
I found out later that this cowboy and cowgirl were dead--and walking around, eating BRAINS no less. Gross--but it strangely sounded sooo tasty! This dead cowgirl, Amelia I hear, even took pictures of their feeding frenzy, as well as the last three pictures.
After seeing this redhead skull and you guessed it--not even a lick of flesh left, I collapsed in a low spot somewhere on the red trail. But I heard feet running behind me, and voices, and the smell of live meat--and BRAINS!!! But try as I may, I could not get a good hold on any of them. I decided to lay real still so they might not notice me, or just think I was a collapsed runner and stop to help me, then I could grab them and get a bite!! I did scare a few of these folks running through in the night, but I went hungry. Curses!!!
So, I managed to drag myself up, and drug my leg down the paved trail all the while thinking of where I could hide to have a good chance of overpowering somebody so I could tear away at their arm, or neck.
Ah--just ahead I could see people moving about in the dark. They were women, and they were not runners--at least they were not moving any faster than I was. (Dang this bad leg!!)They were nurses--odd to see nurses in uniform out on Turkey Mountain on the trailz at night. I thought they were concerned about my bad leg, but instead grabbed my arms and started feeding like piranhas. I wanted to bite them, but they --well--they were DEAD!! As hungry as I was, I really wanted fresh flesh. Do you ever order food and have them give you old food? A McDonalds hamburger that has sat under a heat lamp all day, or 5 hour old movie popcorn? You want it fresh--and warm red blood, and nice chewable muscle tissue sounded so good. Medium rare--no make it raw!!! And for dessert--BRAINS!! One of them, Susan Martinac--the one chewing on my left arm, took my picture as I staggered down the trail.
This pasty white lady, came up and for a second I thought my food was just waking right onto my plate, but nope--turns out she was a vampire!! Just did not sound good to me, plus if she bit back, she had pretty wicked teeth. And being dead, and a vampire at the same time?? Not a good combo. Her name was Susan, and like me, a few days ago, was among the living, with warm red blood flowing through her veins. What was happening??? She did take a few pictures (like any good vampire should) and the last 4 pix in this story are from her camera. (I'm not sure how she showed up in her picture--since DUH, everyone knows you can't photograph a vampire!!
And finally!! I managed to get a few good bites on this tart. I did not get filled up, and still wanted BRAINS!!! But at least I had an appetizer. Very shortly thereafter, she turned an ashen gray, and was hungry for BRAINS herself. Hmmm.... What was going on?? I wandered north a while, and collapsed in the middle of the trail. I could not move. A storm had moved from the northwest to the northeast, with thunder and cloud-to-ground lightening. A perfect night. Soon rain began to hit me in the face, and I did manage to get back on my feet and shuffled south--just to go anywhere. I found myself under a small tent as the wind howled and the rain flew sideways. I actually was not too hungry now, and was afraid as the grim reaper was there, and a wild-eyed guy with a meat cleaver. He had chopped off several human arms, and could split my head right open. (Hmmm--wonder if he could just crack open just ONE skull for me???) I did manage to sneak a severed hand off the table and nibbled on it trying to be unnoticed.
Earlier, back up at the parking lot, hundreds of people converged on Turkey Mountain. There were witches, monsters, super heroes--weird. I even heard there were (gulp) zombies. Could it be true? Something had happened to Dana. She had met this guy--Frankenstein, and was getting MARRIED to Him?!?!?!? And at the wedding party, the best man opts for a bite rather than a kiss.
Somehow I don't think I'll have to worry about her biting me though.
By the time I made it back to the parking lot, The hundreds had diminished to tens. RunnersWorld's Witch and Moan/Zombie Chase had a great showing. The torrential rain kinda messed things up, but it did help out by washing all the rotted flesh and dried blood from my decaying body.
I seem to remember hearing voices, and smelling something. I was sooo hungry. Ever have a strange craving for something you would never dream you'd like?? Well, I just had to have BRAINS!!!!!!
Like a fallen toddler getting back to their feet to continue walking, I managed to get upright and walk--well, more of a shuffle. My left leg had no movement, but I could drag it and edge toward food. People were everywhere, and even a long bite of flesh sounded good. I was not quite sure how to crack a skull open to get to BRAINS, but maybe a large rock would break a head open.
I was at Turkey Mountain--a strange place to wake up dead, and there were hundreds of people ambling around, and despite my hunger pains, I figures I would be restrained and not get to enjoy a meal--even a fast bite. So I discreetly snuck over into the woods to hopefully ambush some wandering trail runner. Where is a good flesh eating contest when you need one? I was puzzled at the sight of skulls along the trail. Seems someone had beaten me to the punch as there were several small skulls along the way--children's skulls no less. I picked one up, and whoever ate here left not a morsel of flesh. Curses!!
Another adult skull--and no BRAINS!! Whoever placed it here had the sickest sense of humor, leaving their dinner napkin draped around it. I was hoping they would get full soon, and maybe leave me a bone or something.
I found out later that this cowboy and cowgirl were dead--and walking around, eating BRAINS no less. Gross--but it strangely sounded sooo tasty! This dead cowgirl, Amelia I hear, even took pictures of their feeding frenzy, as well as the last three pictures.
After seeing this redhead skull and you guessed it--not even a lick of flesh left, I collapsed in a low spot somewhere on the red trail. But I heard feet running behind me, and voices, and the smell of live meat--and BRAINS!!! But try as I may, I could not get a good hold on any of them. I decided to lay real still so they might not notice me, or just think I was a collapsed runner and stop to help me, then I could grab them and get a bite!! I did scare a few of these folks running through in the night, but I went hungry. Curses!!!
So, I managed to drag myself up, and drug my leg down the paved trail all the while thinking of where I could hide to have a good chance of overpowering somebody so I could tear away at their arm, or neck.
Ah--just ahead I could see people moving about in the dark. They were women, and they were not runners--at least they were not moving any faster than I was. (Dang this bad leg!!)They were nurses--odd to see nurses in uniform out on Turkey Mountain on the trailz at night. I thought they were concerned about my bad leg, but instead grabbed my arms and started feeding like piranhas. I wanted to bite them, but they --well--they were DEAD!! As hungry as I was, I really wanted fresh flesh. Do you ever order food and have them give you old food? A McDonalds hamburger that has sat under a heat lamp all day, or 5 hour old movie popcorn? You want it fresh--and warm red blood, and nice chewable muscle tissue sounded so good. Medium rare--no make it raw!!! And for dessert--BRAINS!! One of them, Susan Martinac--the one chewing on my left arm, took my picture as I staggered down the trail.
This pasty white lady, came up and for a second I thought my food was just waking right onto my plate, but nope--turns out she was a vampire!! Just did not sound good to me, plus if she bit back, she had pretty wicked teeth. And being dead, and a vampire at the same time?? Not a good combo. Her name was Susan, and like me, a few days ago, was among the living, with warm red blood flowing through her veins. What was happening??? She did take a few pictures (like any good vampire should) and the last 4 pix in this story are from her camera. (I'm not sure how she showed up in her picture--since DUH, everyone knows you can't photograph a vampire!!
And finally!! I managed to get a few good bites on this tart. I did not get filled up, and still wanted BRAINS!!! But at least I had an appetizer. Very shortly thereafter, she turned an ashen gray, and was hungry for BRAINS herself. Hmmm.... What was going on?? I wandered north a while, and collapsed in the middle of the trail. I could not move. A storm had moved from the northwest to the northeast, with thunder and cloud-to-ground lightening. A perfect night. Soon rain began to hit me in the face, and I did manage to get back on my feet and shuffled south--just to go anywhere. I found myself under a small tent as the wind howled and the rain flew sideways. I actually was not too hungry now, and was afraid as the grim reaper was there, and a wild-eyed guy with a meat cleaver. He had chopped off several human arms, and could split my head right open. (Hmmm--wonder if he could just crack open just ONE skull for me???) I did manage to sneak a severed hand off the table and nibbled on it trying to be unnoticed.
Earlier, back up at the parking lot, hundreds of people converged on Turkey Mountain. There were witches, monsters, super heroes--weird. I even heard there were (gulp) zombies. Could it be true? Something had happened to Dana. She had met this guy--Frankenstein, and was getting MARRIED to Him?!?!?!? And at the wedding party, the best man opts for a bite rather than a kiss.
Somehow I don't think I'll have to worry about her biting me though.
By the time I made it back to the parking lot, The hundreds had diminished to tens. RunnersWorld's Witch and Moan/Zombie Chase had a great showing. The torrential rain kinda messed things up, but it did help out by washing all the rotted flesh and dried blood from my decaying body.
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