T M I
Ok, I need to warn you that this is not necessarily what you should read while eating your scrambled eggs, toast, and coffee. I just feel a need to post and keep my friends (if they can still call me that after reading this) what has been going on with me and why I have not really been the busy blogger that I usually am.
First off, work has been keeping me really busy. Now I know that there are people who would swear on a stack of Trail Runner magazines that T Z NEVER works, but I actually have been hitting it pretty hard lately.
Throw in the ice that we had last week, and the work thing became a lot tougher. There were still things that needed to be done in my sales. Most had to be postponed, but some, I had to endure the elements and slip and slide my way around in people's yards to do my measuring for my sales proposals.
Last Thursday, I got home at 4:00 pm and decided that the ice on my driveway was slushy enough that I could shovel it off. It was freezing every night and becoming slicker and slicker. But in the process of shoveling, I yanked my back out of whack, and was in quite a bit of pain for a few days. Of course being Thursday, I went ahead and ran with my road running group, and believe it or not, probably helped my back just by loosening things up a bit. But I was still sore and tender especially after sitting or laying down for a while.
Now, here's where the TMI comes in. because of the pain in my back, the muscles one uses when going to the bathroom were definitely impaired. After two days of no-go, I felt as bloated as an elephant, and things were getting progressively worse.
Now the nice thing about being married to a nurse, is that they have the answer for every little ailment known to man. Let me sneeze, and I have a sinus pill plopped on my tongue in a matter of seconds. Dana looked at my ailments as sort of a challenge, and I was ready for some relief. (It's OK....I promise to keep it rated G!)
I had little orange pills, red gel caps, Metamucil, some other clear liquid stuff that was flavorless but tasted awful, Milk of Magnesia, a sea saltwater flush (that was my idea), and none of this really helped. Oh, I spent a wee bit of time in the john, but really felt I was getting more bloated by the hour. I had all but quit eating over the weekend (just nibbled on Superbowl snacks, but did drink a couple of beers....hey! it's the Superbowl!) But I felt something was really wrong. That's when Dana decided she needed to instigate a double attack. This involved a citrus flavored sodium phosphate drink that was AWFUL, and another tactic that was implemented from an alternate orifice.
Now I trust my doctor, but I swear, when things like this are performed by my doctor, I am highly sedated. Let's just say that my reaction to my private nurse's application of this treatment was much like that of this kitty.
I later read the label on the wonderful citrus drink and decided a seat belt warning was missing from the directions.
But hang on, I did. Moan, cuss, pray....yup, I did all that. The folks at NASA had nothing on me.
I nearly knocked my head on the bathroom ceiling! The next several hours were spent sprinting from the living room to the little room down the hall. My Garmin says I logged 1.2 miles. I finally just gave up on all the back and forth, and just retired to the potty with a good book. Ever read War and Peace?
Next time around, and I pray there will never be another time like this, but if there is, I want THIS!
A laptop, a flat screen TV, DVD player, a built in stationary bike option, a reading light, a coffee cup warmer, a cold beer, and a megaphone to have another beer delivered as needed. Life would be good!
Oh, and today, late Tuesday night, I am AOK. Sorry you had to endure this. Finish your breakfast.
First off, work has been keeping me really busy. Now I know that there are people who would swear on a stack of Trail Runner magazines that T Z NEVER works, but I actually have been hitting it pretty hard lately.
Throw in the ice that we had last week, and the work thing became a lot tougher. There were still things that needed to be done in my sales. Most had to be postponed, but some, I had to endure the elements and slip and slide my way around in people's yards to do my measuring for my sales proposals.
Last Thursday, I got home at 4:00 pm and decided that the ice on my driveway was slushy enough that I could shovel it off. It was freezing every night and becoming slicker and slicker. But in the process of shoveling, I yanked my back out of whack, and was in quite a bit of pain for a few days. Of course being Thursday, I went ahead and ran with my road running group, and believe it or not, probably helped my back just by loosening things up a bit. But I was still sore and tender especially after sitting or laying down for a while.
Now, here's where the TMI comes in. because of the pain in my back, the muscles one uses when going to the bathroom were definitely impaired. After two days of no-go, I felt as bloated as an elephant, and things were getting progressively worse.
Now the nice thing about being married to a nurse, is that they have the answer for every little ailment known to man. Let me sneeze, and I have a sinus pill plopped on my tongue in a matter of seconds. Dana looked at my ailments as sort of a challenge, and I was ready for some relief. (It's OK....I promise to keep it rated G!)I had little orange pills, red gel caps, Metamucil, some other clear liquid stuff that was flavorless but tasted awful, Milk of Magnesia, a sea saltwater flush (that was my idea), and none of this really helped. Oh, I spent a wee bit of time in the john, but really felt I was getting more bloated by the hour. I had all but quit eating over the weekend (just nibbled on Superbowl snacks, but did drink a couple of beers....hey! it's the Superbowl!) But I felt something was really wrong. That's when Dana decided she needed to instigate a double attack. This involved a citrus flavored sodium phosphate drink that was AWFUL, and another tactic that was implemented from an alternate orifice.
Now I trust my doctor, but I swear, when things like this are performed by my doctor, I am highly sedated. Let's just say that my reaction to my private nurse's application of this treatment was much like that of this kitty.
I later read the label on the wonderful citrus drink and decided a seat belt warning was missing from the directions.
But hang on, I did. Moan, cuss, pray....yup, I did all that. The folks at NASA had nothing on me.
I nearly knocked my head on the bathroom ceiling! The next several hours were spent sprinting from the living room to the little room down the hall. My Garmin says I logged 1.2 miles. I finally just gave up on all the back and forth, and just retired to the potty with a good book. Ever read War and Peace?Next time around, and I pray there will never be another time like this, but if there is, I want THIS!
A laptop, a flat screen TV, DVD player, a built in stationary bike option, a reading light, a coffee cup warmer, a cold beer, and a megaphone to have another beer delivered as needed. Life would be good!Oh, and today, late Tuesday night, I am AOK. Sorry you had to endure this. Finish your breakfast.
No comments:
Post a Comment