Creation
1. Last week Dana created a cheesecake.
2. A cheesecake sounded like a good idea, and darkness was upon the counters of the kitchen.
3. And Dana said, "Let there be light," and flipping on the light switch, there was light.
4. And Dana said, "Let 15 Graham Crackers, crushed, be gathered together into one mixing bowl and be combined with 2 tablespoons of melted butter: and it was so.
5. And Dana pressed the crust into the bottom of a baking pan: and Dana saw that it was good.
6. And Dana said, "Let a large mixing bowl be filled with four 8-ounce packages of cream cheese and 1 1/2 cups of sugar." And it was so.
7. And the batter was combined with 3/4 cup of milk and four eggs, along with one cup of sour cream, 1 teaspoon of vanilla, and 1/4 cup of flour, and blended. And Dana saw that it was blended until it was smooth.
8. And Dana said, "Let the batter be poured forth into the Graham cracker crust.
9. And Dana tasted the batter: and it was good.
10. And Dana set the cheesecake into the preheated oven and baked it for one hour at 350 degrees.
11. And Dana took the cheesecake out of the oven and let it cool. And the evening and the morning were the next day.
12. And Dana separated the cheesecake into 12 individual pieces, topped them with a strawberry sauce and served them for dessert. And behold, it was very good.
Big Bang
The cheesecake has actually evolved over billions of years. Approximately 13.7 billion years ago, the entirety of the ingredients of a cheesecake was compressed into the confines of an atomic nucleus. Known as a singularity, this is the moment before desserts, when cheesecake and other desserts did not exist. According to the prevailing cosmological models, an ineffable explosion, trillions of degrees in temperature on any measurement scale, that was infinitely dense, created not only fundamental subatomic particles of Graham crackers and butter, but also sugar, flour, eggs, and cream cheese itself. Cosmology theorists combined with the observations of their astronomy colleagues, along with the expertise of Emeril Lagasse, have been able to reconstruct the primordial chronology of events known as the big bang and the evolution of the cheesecake.
Quantum theory suggests that moments after the explosion, the key ingredients of cheesecake; cream cheese, sugar, flour, and 4 eggs were combined in space and whipped until smooth. Elementary particles known as Graham cracker crumbs begin to bond with melted butter, forming a crust. During this creation and combination of ingredients, the universe was undergoing a rate of expansion many times the speed of light, and the batter and Graham cracker crust sped at a great velocity across the universe for billions of years. As the temperature of our universe dropped to 350 degrees, the cheesecake settled into an orbit around our sun, baked for one hour, and then cooled for 5-6 hours.
This, according to current science, is how our cheesecake came into existence.
1. Last week Dana created a cheesecake.
2. A cheesecake sounded like a good idea, and darkness was upon the counters of the kitchen.
3. And Dana said, "Let there be light," and flipping on the light switch, there was light.
4. And Dana said, "Let 15 Graham Crackers, crushed, be gathered together into one mixing bowl and be combined with 2 tablespoons of melted butter: and it was so.
5. And Dana pressed the crust into the bottom of a baking pan: and Dana saw that it was good.
6. And Dana said, "Let a large mixing bowl be filled with four 8-ounce packages of cream cheese and 1 1/2 cups of sugar." And it was so.
7. And the batter was combined with 3/4 cup of milk and four eggs, along with one cup of sour cream, 1 teaspoon of vanilla, and 1/4 cup of flour, and blended. And Dana saw that it was blended until it was smooth.
8. And Dana said, "Let the batter be poured forth into the Graham cracker crust.
9. And Dana tasted the batter: and it was good.
10. And Dana set the cheesecake into the preheated oven and baked it for one hour at 350 degrees.
11. And Dana took the cheesecake out of the oven and let it cool. And the evening and the morning were the next day.
12. And Dana separated the cheesecake into 12 individual pieces, topped them with a strawberry sauce and served them for dessert. And behold, it was very good.
Big Bang
The cheesecake has actually evolved over billions of years. Approximately 13.7 billion years ago, the entirety of the ingredients of a cheesecake was compressed into the confines of an atomic nucleus. Known as a singularity, this is the moment before desserts, when cheesecake and other desserts did not exist. According to the prevailing cosmological models, an ineffable explosion, trillions of degrees in temperature on any measurement scale, that was infinitely dense, created not only fundamental subatomic particles of Graham crackers and butter, but also sugar, flour, eggs, and cream cheese itself. Cosmology theorists combined with the observations of their astronomy colleagues, along with the expertise of Emeril Lagasse, have been able to reconstruct the primordial chronology of events known as the big bang and the evolution of the cheesecake.
Quantum theory suggests that moments after the explosion, the key ingredients of cheesecake; cream cheese, sugar, flour, and 4 eggs were combined in space and whipped until smooth. Elementary particles known as Graham cracker crumbs begin to bond with melted butter, forming a crust. During this creation and combination of ingredients, the universe was undergoing a rate of expansion many times the speed of light, and the batter and Graham cracker crust sped at a great velocity across the universe for billions of years. As the temperature of our universe dropped to 350 degrees, the cheesecake settled into an orbit around our sun, baked for one hour, and then cooled for 5-6 hours.
This, according to current science, is how our cheesecake came into existence.
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