Aw, Heck--I guess as how I oughta tell you-uns about the lil' Redneck race we had las night.
See, those TATUR folks have this here race whur they go up topa that big ol hill up on Turkey Mountain, git all lined up and run like a buncha wild indians down the hill. A lot of those city folks whut lives round these parts git all dressed up like they waza country folks and make a big shin-dig out of it.
An WEE HAW!! There waza whole messa purty women out there!! Here's me, ol uncle KenBob gittin his pitcher took with one of 'em. This here's my cuzin Dasiy. Don't she look purty fast?
An here's my 2nd cuzin Kate. I like her cuz she brung me sum beer.
An here's sum more of those good lookin redneck girls. Miss LeAnne whut lives down across a couple of cow pastures wuz totin one kiddo and had another un in the oven. Cuzin Rachel somehow musta borrowed one of my shirts--one of my best sunday-goin-ta-meetin shirts too. Her friend, well I don't know her much seein as how she weren't no relation nope, I figerd it out--that's cuzin Christina, but I don't recognize her cuz she's a bit more civilized and must be from the inlaws side of the family--2nd or 3rd cuzin maybe.
Heck we even had sum famous folks comin out down here to these parts. Miss Ellie Mae an her brutha Jeffro dun showed up. I figerd her to just go on and whup all these other gals down that hill. But it turns out she brung her pet possum, and turns out that lil critter dont run all that fast.
Cute little booger, ain't it. I reckon it'd go right nice on my bbq grille.
I don't know these folks here. Must be from over Coweta way. I didn't really make much acquaintunce with em, seein as how he mighta been the baby-daddy to both gals, not sure. This gal totin the baby and fixin to drop another one wazza just about as slow as Miss Ellie Mae with her possum!
Somebody shot off there shotgun and we all commenced to a runnin down the hill. I like to go fast, and git some practice ever now and then chasin them goats that git outa my back yard. This here hill made it sure easy to git goin.
My cuzin had one of them movie camera things and gave me this. Poor old dude bout made me throw up justa watchin this. He was thrownin up later after eatin a buncha twinkies and chasin em with some Keystone Lite.
We wenta runnin and when we got down at the bottom, we runned through that parkin lot down there, and went to hurryin on down this lil road what was mostly used for bicycles and those joggin types.
This here little gal went and won the race--at least the girls half of it. Turns out she was the same little lady who came up here and won this race a couple years ago. She's jess fast. Her name's McKale Davis, and I'll never be able to keep up with the likes of her. Clay Mayes runt the whole way and hit that there finish line gittin there in 4 minutes and 21 seconds. WOO WEE, that's fast!!!!
Shoot, once we waz done, we had to climb durn near halfway back up the hill, but it was sure nuff worth it. They had a whole buncha games like we rednecks like. Heck, we're even dang good at em!
My half sister Kathy she came up with all these games. If weda just had some sheep to rope or a greased pig to chase, it'da been perfect.
This here dude is Paul Bodet. He lives way off there in Louisana in the bayou and came clear up here to party with us. He done good in the race, but went ahead and won the redneck olimpix. Here, he's throwing these javlins knocking critters off a table that was a good hunnerd yards away.
That boy's got an arm on em, and shoot, all the gals were jess talkin about his mussels and such. I like his hat ok.
We had a few other things that those olimpic folks got to do. We tossed some hubcaps plumb through a big ol set of lips cut in some wood whut Kathy took off the back of that old spare bedroom on her house.
We found an old toilet and Kathy hit a bunch of QuikTrips and brung a buncha rolls of toilt paper so we could toss em into the stool. There's gonna sure be a bunch of mad people who aint got nuttin to wipe with, but we sure nuff had fun.
We had a ring toss with these here tolit seats. I brung them up from a few old houses over by Sapulpa. I am pretty sure no one was livin in them houses seein as how most of the windows were done broke out. Here in this here pitcher, my ex cuzin-in-law Amber almost hit her target.
After that, those folks doin that olimpic thang had to bob forapples little baby ruth bars, whut looked like somethin purty sick. My cuzin tried out that movie camera again and heres a pitcher show.
Doggone if that cajun dude didn't snatch up all those baby ruth bars with his teeth faster than any of the girls. Bad thing is they spit em all out in the grass, and besides, they were all soggy lookin so I didn't eat any of em.
But I did get in the next contest--the twinky eatin contest. They gave us 2 minutes to eat as much twinkys as we could shove down. But dang it, we couldn't wash em down with beer! I got a big ol bite all wadded up in my throat and ended up eatin 4. Heck, I was tryin to keep my belly from gettin much fatter anyways since I can hardly get em buttoned anyways. There was a three-way tie for the winner, and they ahd an eat-off. This here round, whoever ate 2 the fastest was the winner.
Uncle Kirk just mowed down them 2 twinkys and took furst prize. I here he threw up durn near everthing he ate right after that.
Shoot, we sure had a whole lotta fun, and we stayed around after that and just talked about stuff, and drank the rest of the beer. Good thing I don;t live too far off. Miss Dana well, she came up and took me home--at least that's how I think I got home.
See, those TATUR folks have this here race whur they go up topa that big ol hill up on Turkey Mountain, git all lined up and run like a buncha wild indians down the hill. A lot of those city folks whut lives round these parts git all dressed up like they waza country folks and make a big shin-dig out of it.
An WEE HAW!! There waza whole messa purty women out there!! Here's me, ol uncle KenBob gittin his pitcher took with one of 'em. This here's my cuzin Dasiy. Don't she look purty fast?
An here's my 2nd cuzin Kate. I like her cuz she brung me sum beer.
An here's sum more of those good lookin redneck girls. Miss LeAnne whut lives down across a couple of cow pastures wuz totin one kiddo and had another un in the oven. Cuzin Rachel somehow musta borrowed one of my shirts--one of my best sunday-goin-ta-meetin shirts too. Her friend, 
Heck we even had sum famous folks comin out down here to these parts. Miss Ellie Mae an her brutha Jeffro dun showed up. I figerd her to just go on and whup all these other gals down that hill. But it turns out she brung her pet possum, and turns out that lil critter dont run all that fast.
Cute little booger, ain't it. I reckon it'd go right nice on my bbq grille.
I don't know these folks here. Must be from over Coweta way. I didn't really make much acquaintunce with em, seein as how he mighta been the baby-daddy to both gals, not sure. This gal totin the baby and fixin to drop another one wazza just about as slow as Miss Ellie Mae with her possum!
Somebody shot off there shotgun and we all commenced to a runnin down the hill. I like to go fast, and git some practice ever now and then chasin them goats that git outa my back yard. This here hill made it sure easy to git goin.
My cuzin had one of them movie camera things and gave me this. Poor old dude bout made me throw up justa watchin this. He was thrownin up later after eatin a buncha twinkies and chasin em with some Keystone Lite.We wenta runnin and when we got down at the bottom, we runned through that parkin lot down there, and went to hurryin on down this lil road what was mostly used for bicycles and those joggin types.
This here little gal went and won the race--at least the girls half of it. Turns out she was the same little lady who came up here and won this race a couple years ago. She's jess fast. Her name's McKale Davis, and I'll never be able to keep up with the likes of her. Clay Mayes runt the whole way and hit that there finish line gittin there in 4 minutes and 21 seconds. WOO WEE, that's fast!!!!Shoot, once we waz done, we had to climb durn near halfway back up the hill, but it was sure nuff worth it. They had a whole buncha games like we rednecks like. Heck, we're even dang good at em!
My half sister Kathy she came up with all these games. If weda just had some sheep to rope or a greased pig to chase, it'da been perfect.
This here dude is Paul Bodet. He lives way off there in Louisana in the bayou and came clear up here to party with us. He done good in the race, but went ahead and won the redneck olimpix. Here, he's throwing these javlins knocking critters off a table that was a good hunnerd yards away.
That boy's got an arm on em, and shoot, all the gals were jess talkin about his mussels and such. I like his hat ok.We had a few other things that those olimpic folks got to do. We tossed some hubcaps plumb through a big ol set of lips cut in some wood whut Kathy took off the back of that old spare bedroom on her house.
We found an old toilet and Kathy hit a bunch of QuikTrips and brung a buncha rolls of toilt paper so we could toss em into the stool. There's gonna sure be a bunch of mad people who aint got nuttin to wipe with, but we sure nuff had fun.
We had a ring toss with these here tolit seats. I brung them up from a few old houses over by Sapulpa. I am pretty sure no one was livin in them houses seein as how most of the windows were done broke out. Here in this here pitcher, my ex cuzin-in-law Amber almost hit her target.After that, those folks doin that olimpic thang had to bob for
Doggone if that cajun dude didn't snatch up all those baby ruth bars with his teeth faster than any of the girls. Bad thing is they spit em all out in the grass, and besides, they were all soggy lookin so I didn't eat any of em.
But I did get in the next contest--the twinky eatin contest. They gave us 2 minutes to eat as much twinkys as we could shove down. But dang it, we couldn't wash em down with beer! I got a big ol bite all wadded up in my throat and ended up eatin 4. Heck, I was tryin to keep my belly from gettin much fatter anyways since I can hardly get em buttoned anyways. There was a three-way tie for the winner, and they ahd an eat-off. This here round, whoever ate 2 the fastest was the winner.
Uncle Kirk just mowed down them 2 twinkys and took furst prize. I here he threw up durn near everthing he ate right after that.Shoot, we sure had a whole lotta fun, and we stayed around after that and just talked about stuff, and drank the rest of the beer. Good thing I don;t live too far off. Miss Dana well, she came up and took me home--at least that's how I think I got home.
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