Explaining a weird Facebook post

A Facebook post:
In a journey of 2 miles and thorns, I came upon an upside-down traveller with a shell on his back. I pondered righting his ship, but instead I did some writing on his underside. He was happy and content to stay belly side up, so I left him.
Then I began a quest for squirrel poop. I found a tree, and rummaged around in poop seeking a silver pill bottle and the contents inside. I searched until all of my nails were poop crusted, and gave up--but then I remembered a saying that was so simple but so complex--"Yes we did!" and then I knew where the silver pill bottle in the squirrel poop was.
I returned to the upside-down traveller before I returned home, and a green thorn brier named Karma paid me for my sins.

An explanation:
I had about an hour to get in a run, although I did not feel like running. Jake, however, thought a run was a GREAT idea. He knows when the running cargo shorts come out of the drawer that his chances are good. Then a running shirt enhances his excitement. The buzz of the Garmin as I turn it on sends him over the edge. He gets so worked up he jumps and dances (as well as a 105 lb lab can dance), grabs the leash and tries to actually walk himself. Then he realizes he must look silly, and then forgets he is looking silly and does it all again.

I had seen on geocaching.com that there were a couple of new geocaches not far from the parking lot at Turkey Mountain, and I could shuffle a little, find a couple of hidden gems, walk/run the dog, extend my "Mile a Day in May", and stay within the rules of the taper. Talk about multi-tasking!!! The first one was called Turkey Mountain Fauna. I headed up one popular trail and made a switchback down another, set my geocache app from "map" to "compass" and walked slowly until I was within 20 feet of ground zero and the supposed hide was exactly due east. Then, I proceeded into the thicket--knowing that there would be ticks and chiggers glad to see me.

This tree seemed to be the focal point. I looked in it, near the base, in the branches, and then made my way around it. Eventually, I found the prize. It was a clever hide. One that made me laugh and makes geocaching fun albeit silly at times. I make a rule to not give to much away when blogging about geocaching, but suffice to say that no creatures were hurt or were suffering in my journey. Except maybe my legs. I signed the log and entered my find on my iPhone Geocache app.

The second cache I hunted was called Squirrel Poop. The description of the cache warned that hunters might indeed find some squirrel poop in their search, which was a good hint in a way. I was about .3 of a mile away, and I shuffled my way over that direction. I know all the shortcuts from point A to point B, and we were there and very close in about 5 minutes.

It sure seemed like the hide was somewhere in this tree. As I got closer, I was a long hollowed out log, and I peeked in--nothing. There was supposed to be a silver pill bottle in there somewhere. I reached in, and shuffled through the rotted wood, squirrel poop, and then thought of those 4 inch centipedes, and those 18" copperheads, and scorpions, and then flesh eating bacteria. SO, I reverted back to peeking in wherever I could. I did manage to pick up three ticks while searching. L looked all over, and was about to give up. You don't find them all. Then, I remembered the HINT in the description. The words "Yes we did!" made me look somewhere else, and required me to muster up all the dare-devilish behavior I could to get to a place where the cache could be accessed.  With the help of a keen eye, I spotted the cache. It was a good find. Yes, I did have dirt and/or squirrel poop under my fingernails. 

It was time to head home, and as I neared the parking lot, I told Jake to SIT so I could hook him up to his leash. Oops! I had lost his leash. Then I reasoned that I must have set it down when I wrote in the log at the first cache. I certainly did not remember folding it back up--so we headed back. I found it easily, and plowed in to get it. Yep--the leash was there and I zombie-vaulted over a log to get it--but laying in wait was a green rope saw brier waiting there since it was a sprout to shred my leg. Two short punctures, a 2 inch scratch, and a 4 inch gash made for a colorful display of blood. Was this "karma"? Maybe, maybe not. One of my FB friends called it "trail runner medals", and I like that. SO, after taking a leg selfie--nope that one was not good, and after taking three, and then Facebooking the best one, Jake and I headed home. As I stated on FB, Jake does not understand geocaching. Or selfies. But if it involves a little running, he tolerates it.

SO, now I have sort of explained my riddle/crazy FB post, and have not given away to much as to the secrets of the hides.